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August 14 Omens ...Well, we made it back. How was it? you ask ... where do I start?
I hate looking forward to something because it usually ends up being a disappointment. You would think by now I would have come to realize this by now, but I haven't.
I was looking forward to getting away for a few days and I was really looking forward to going to the Six Flags Animal Safari with my boys - just as I had done with my parents when I was their age.
I had also heard from other family members that my mother-in-law was a little easier to get along with now that she had moved away and didn't see us all so much.
I guess I should have realized by the omens that this wasn't going to be a good trip.
Whats that?
Oh, the omens. Yes, I do mean omens as in more then one ...
The first one occured on Tuesday morning when my oldest son walked into my room complaining of not being able to open his eye. I slowly opened mine (as I was just waking up) to see what he was talking about. Nothing quite wakes you up quickly as having your son stand before you and not being able to recognize him. Oh his voice sounded like him and he was about the right height but, oh my gawd, his face was swollen to the point where his right eye was completely closed and his left eye half closed. His neck and arms were red and swollen as was his knees. I jumped out of bed and asked him what happened, trying hard not to let my voice betray how concerned I was. He had no clue but he said he was itching like crazy. He had no trouble breathing or swallowing (thank God). I looked all over to see if there were any bug bites, but couldn't find any. I pulled up his shirt and his stomach was red but not swollen. He turned around and his back was swollen. He had been to a new day camp with friends the day before and I asked him if he remembered doing anything or getting into anything that might have caused this type of reaction. He didn't. *sigh*
So, long story short - morning appointments were canceled for me as I rushed him over to the dr's office. While I'm there my husband calls. Seems the friends he was with are on their way in also because of they are in the same condition. The Dr. says he is having a severe allergic reaction to something and the redness is actually a case of really bad hives. But from what? We get all the boys in a room and after they all start sharing their day we come to find out they were playing in some leaves and having a leaf fight that afternoon. The thought is poisen ivy or poisen oak. My son had the leaves in his hat and all down his back, as did one of his friends who appeared as worse as him. The others were mainly throwing or grabbing the leaves. So after a steriod shot and some pills we all head home.
The next day we are due to leave for vacation right after I have us packed up (which I planned to do right when I got home from work). I get a call from the babysitter that my son has been sleeping all day long and won't eat/drink. So I call the Dr back concerned and he asks if we can come in. Thankfully the last family I was seeing that day was very understanding and I leave early. After another shot and stronger pills and we are assured that it is okay to still take our vacation. We are told that the sleepiness is a combination of the pills and his body fighting the reaction. We are told to call the Dr if anything is concerning us and he will take our call right away.
By the time I get out of the dr's office, get the Rx's filled, and back home it is nearly 5:00pm - we wanted to leave by 5:30p and I still had not packed. We run around, quickly get packed, load up, get the kids settled and arranged in the rented mini-van and 2 hours later we head off down the road ... right to omen #2.
We are not more then 500 feet from our driveway when I turn around to hand my son something. I hear hubby gasp "oh God NO" and the van thumps, thumps over something. A young deer ran out in front of us and couldn't be avoided. We have killed bambi. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off on vacation we go ..... this can't be happening ...
I make my husband stop the car, get out and make sure the poor thing is not suffering (though who knows what we could have done if it were). We call the State Police to advice them about this poor dead animal. They ask us to wait so they can take down a report but can't assure us how long it will be before they get there. Thankfully another car pulls over and a young lady who lives just down the road gets out. She hears the story and tells us to get going, she will wait for the police. And we are off again... a little bit less chipper then we were a few moments ago.
We find our way to the hotel we booked near six flags so we can start out early to see the animals before it gets too hot. Everyone is tired (physically and emotionally) and we fall quickly asleep. The next morning we awake, shower and start our day fresh - memories of yesterday forgotten and full of excitement to see the animals roaming in the safari. My son is still swollen but the redness is going away and he can open both eyes now. He is beginning to resemble my son alittle more. I share stories of how cool it is to drive amoungst the animals and what fun the monkys will be to watch as they jump and climb car to car to see if there are any treats. I can't wait to see the kid's faces. .
Well for those who may have gone to six flags many years ago as I had and remember the days of roaming animals and monkeys climbing all over the car, I recommend not going now or you will be greatly disappointed. Most of the animals are now in cages. It is more like taking your car for a drive through a zoo. I was so disappointed. The only animals that still "roam" are the camels, deer, various birds (emu, ostrich, etc), and giraffes. The lions, tigers, elephants, bears, and *sigh* monkeys are all caged. I was so upset. .. so upset.
We finish the safari and head to Delaware. The drive was easy, the kids got along great and we find my MIL's home with little trouble. She is very happy to see us and has the weekend planned. We are going to an Amish flea market, the beach, and to do some swimming in her complex's pool - just as long as the kids remember no yelling, no talking loud, no splashing. For the most part the weekend went smoothly with only minor bumps ... mainly my doing it seems ..
* I was wrong to turn of the convection oven when the pizza started burning and smoking. (guess I should have waited until the kitchen filled up with smoke and the entire pizza was burned black. I'll know better next time). This caused me about an hour of the silent treatment.
* I was wrong to let David go into the outlet mall because he was taking too long and it was hot sitting in the car.
* I was wrong to let one of the boys use her bedroom bathroom when the other one was being used and his legs were crossed from waiting (next time I'll let him pee on her rug).
* I was wrong to play with the boys in the pool because they were making too much noise laughing and giggling (even though I kept them to one corner of the pool and there were only 2 other older ladies swimming who kept their distance and another family with a little boy who was jumping in the pool and splashing everyone).
* I was wrong to keep my youngest son from swimming in the afternoon because he didn't listen during the day and was being punished (boys will be boys, Molly). He was allowed to go later that evening and he didn't need to be told but once the next day to listen! But *shaking head* that doesn't matter now, does it?
So by Sunday morning we were all ready to leave! I was more stressed when we left then I was when I got there .. Picture a house full of frilly and breakable items (wall to wall, floor to ceiling) and three typical boys. Now picture a mom trying to keep these boys quiet and calm, making sure there were games to play, books/comics to read, anything to keep them from being too loud or too boyish. Hubby kinda kept his distance and tried not to yell or complain too much and keep peace between everyone.
To her credit, she did try to make it pleasant. She had tons of food for us to eat (not too much that the boys liked though) mainly stuff that she knew my hubby liked, which is understandable as he is her son. She didn't complain when we spent an hour or so jumping waves at the beach. She didn't complain that the boys had "their" room wall to wall full of books, comics, toys, games, etc ...
We did make it home with only minimal traffic. We were not too anxious to get home once we received the phone call from the pet sitter telling us that our dog had gone "nuts" over something that was outside and tore apart nearly every window screen in the house and chewed at the brand new sliding glass door to the deck. We didn't realize just how bad it was until we walked in the door. Not only did he tear the screens but the entire screen frames were totally wrecked. The handle and the lock and the door frame were all chewed and clawed at and will now need to be replaced. Hubby went to talk to one of the neighbors to see if he had seen/heard anything and come to find out that it appears there is some type of coyote dog pack roaming between the five yards in our area (there is quite a bit of wooded property seperating the houses - something we originally thought was great - but am now wondering..)
AND to top it off .. while I was on vacation one of my Make*A*Wish granting partners had called to see if I could help with a wish this evening (Monday) at 6:00pm in a town about an hour from me. Of course I said I would, marked it in my calender, told hubby, printed off directions and then completely forgot about it ... until I was half way through getting dinner ready and looked at the clock ..
hmm.. 6:27pm ..
hmmm.
hmmm.
seems like there is something . . something ...
OMG there is no way ...
grab the date book .. OMG
call my wish partner and apologize profusely- swearing this is not like me, that I've never done anything like this before - feel absolutely horrible .. am assured it's ok and he can go over all the documents himself, not to worry, he understands, he feels bad for not reminding me knowing I was on vacation when he sprung it on me ...
but I still feel horrible ... How could I forget helping with a wish?!!
*sigh*
and so
that dear friend, is how my vacation was ...
Is it Friday yet? July 09 a promise madeWhen I was young we moved around quite a bit. My dad was an exceptional tool maker and began his career with Ford Motor company and ended it with IBM. We moved as his career advanced. We finally settled in a little town in up-state NY when I was 11 years old. We moved right in the middle of 5th grade. But that was okay because we had moved when I was 4 yrs old, again when I was 6 years old and again when I was 8 years old. It seemed every couple of years we moved. My dad was doing what he thought was best for his family... and in many ways it was. He found a small town with a good school district. It didn't matter that he had to drive nearly an hour to/from work every day because he was more concerned about the education we would be given... so the important thing was where we lived, not where he worked.
I don't remember much about the actual moving. What I remember is having to say "good-bye" to friends over and over and over again. In the end I had pretty much stopped trying to get close to anyone because I didn't want to have to keep saying "good-bye". It wasn't until I was in High School that I started building close friendships. After I graduated I appeased my dad by going to college for 1 year. I hated it. I wasn't ready for it and left after that first year. I ended up traveling and, believe it or not, would move about every 2 years... This was the life I was use to . I have had many adventures, seen many places and experienced many things because of this and I have never regretted these travels. I've been able to do and see a lot more then most people.
One of the things I had always promised myself was that if (and this was a BIG if back then) .. if I ever got married and had kids we would not move around. When I eventually did get married one of the things that scared me the most was this promise. I just wasn't sure I could stay in one place. It wasn't something I was use to and here I was marrying someone who had spent his WHOLE life in one place. Would I get bored? I'm a Gemini after all and we live for changes ... we are always moving around. .. always getting bored quickly .. need constant change to keep us interested .. How surprised was I when hubby asked if I would consider moving within the first year of our marriage. Thankfully the company I worked for then as a travel agent had locations all over the U.S. and we picked a place and we moved. Shortly after we learned we would be having a child. Instead of morning sickness I had homesickness. I'm not sure where it came from but I think having a child of my own made me realize how I wanted this child to have the family I never did. I wanted them to know their Aunts & Uncles, their grandparents and hopefully one day their cousins. So, we checked to see where my company had an opening closer to home and we moved to CT, only 2 hours from our families.
Since our first move here we have moved 3 times - the first time we found a wonderful little brick house but within a couple years and another child we out grew it. We moved the next town over because of it's elementary school. We stayed there for 5 years and then moved to where we are now ... because of the school system. It is a small town with a good school system - very similar to what my father found for us when we were growing up. We are also only 5 minutes from where we use to live so my eldest son is still able to stay in touch with his best friend from elementary school.
After a wonderful weekend visit with family back in NY I often wonder if we shouldn't move closer to home to be nearer them. We had so much fun this past week, lots of laughs and lots of fun times with the Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents & cousins. I miss my family so much at times and I think about that promise I made and wonder what would be best for my boys ...
... and then today I watched from the kitchen window as the boys were out in the back yard playing with a group of friends from school. We had about 8 boys running in and out of the house, crowded around our kitchen table eating pizza, laughing in the family room over jokes being said and teasing one another... I watched in amazement as they laughed at and with each other. 8 young men who are into wrestling and baseball and girls and summer fun. I knew then that my moving days were over... As much as I miss my family and wished I was closer to them - and as much as the boys enjoy the visits we have with them ... I realized to them, to these 2 wonderful young men, this is home. This is where their friends are.. this is where they are happy .. where they are content ... This will be where their prom pictures will be taken in the garden, the house that they come back to during their college days with their laundry in hand .. the house they will bring their girlfriends to meet their parents over Thanksgiving holiday .. this will be where they will always feel safe and have wonderful memories of childhood ... I made a promise ... and I will keep that promise... and I will enjoy watching these two children of mine and all their friends grow up and become young men ... and go off to experience their own adventures and feel good knowing that they will always have a childhood home to come back to ... not just in person but in memories as well.
"'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam," June 20 Ugh!! Little sisters!!I went home this past Saturday to celebrate Father's day at my sister's house. My dad came over with the step-momster. Both my brothers and my sisters where there. For the most part it was really nice. We chatted, we ate, we drank, we laughed..
My youngest sister mentioned to me that our dad was in need of a new furnance and if he didn't come to her and talk to her about it she wouldn't be able to give him a deal on it because she was going on vacation soon. She works for a plumbling company. I asked her why she didn't just go to dad and ask him what he needed. She advised me that it was his job to come to her if he needed something. *sigh* *shaking my head* She has such a chip on her shoulder when it comes to my dad. She feels he should be the one visiting because it's his grandson. She feels he should be the one calling because he is the dad. She still holds a grudge that dad was not there to watch her during her sports games in high school but went to every one of my youngest brother's high school football games. It doesn't matter that he was at two different places in his life. There is 6 years between my youngest sister and me and 18 between me and my youngest brother (half-brother if you want to be technical).
.. so we continue talking and I ask how much this is going to cost dad, knowing he does not have much money being retired and having a wife who spends money like it's going out of style. She tells me it's going to be XXX amount but that she can offer him monthly payments. Now I am finally working a good paying job and I say to her "well, why don't you just tell me what it is going to cost and I will make the payments - don't say anything to dad". She looks at me with this utter disgusted look of disbelief and says "why? Why would you do that? It's not like you have that much extra to spare. Hell, she (meaning step-mother) should get a job and help out or why not have him (youngest brother) pay for it? He's living there rent free and I hear they are going to leave the house to him any way!". *sigh* I told her how I was the only one right now in a position to help out since my other brother just lost his job (laid off due to company doing poorly) and our other sister is just making ends meet with two young kids and a hubby who likes to spend money .. Now I didnt' mention her situation which is no bills, mortgage already paid off from mother-in-law's inheritance, 2 cars with no payments, two incomes ... knowing full well in my heart she wouldn't offer to split the cost with me even though out of all of us she would be the one that could.
So I continue to try to explain to my dear baby sister that I don't care about the house or the step-momster ... that I want to do this for dad. I try to explain to her that I have a little extra money right now and I can afford to do this for him but I know if I offer it to him he won't accept so I would just like to pay her once she has a figure for me. She went on for a few more moments about how she can't understand why I want to do this and how it's not my responsability to pick up after my father's mistakes and mismanagement with his money. I just listened, with a sad heart that I can't help her to see a different side ... a loving side for a father who raised us and did the best he could .. who is only human and made mistakes that he is now living with ... and how I have a chance to help out a little and if it eases his burden and doesn't cause a burden for my family .. I should do it.
Needless to say she didnt' see my side at all .. and it just saddens and frustrates me that she only sees her side of how dad didn't do this or do that for her, how he doesn't visit or call .. and she won't let it go. She has this chip on her shoulder .. this underlying grief and upset about how she feels dad was towards her. She won't talk to him about it, we've asked her to. She won't see a therapist about it, we've asked her to. She sees nothing wrong with how she feels and can't believe our dad doesn't understand her upset. I just don't understand how someone can spend so much time and energy being mad deep down inside instead of turning things around, shrugging off and forgiving what happened in the past, and just making the most of what we have .. a dad that loves us, that is still alive, only a phone call away ... and truly isn't a bad guy at all ...
*sigh* Little sisters .. can't live without them, can't love them enough to get them over past hurts .. |
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