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4月5日 less stress = peacefulIn my previous blog I received a comment from Jill saying I sounded "peaceful". (thanks Jill!). It made me stop and think for a moment and I rezlied I was peaceful. I think it is because I have cut back a little on my hours and, this is the BIG reason, the hubby has hired someone in his office to do all the paperwork I have been doing for the past 10 years. (10 years?!! Has it really been that long?!! yikes) .. What this means is that I can come home, help the kiddos with their homework (or at least convince them they need to start working on it! before it's bedtime), start dinner, have a glass of wine (some days - not all) and do this without running around like a chicken with it's head cut off! At night when they are in bed I can now sit back and work on some of my own things... do some jigsaw puzzles (I've really been into doing the spherical puzzles - very challenging), knit, read, watch my fav tv show (sob.. which has again been canceled.. oh Jericho! sob). I don't have to spend my evenings getting the hubby's paperwork for his business all caught up - invoices run - new clients added - checks inputed - reports run ... *phew* (wipes forhead) - that is now and for the future will be someone else's responsability - not mine!! WAHOOO..
I think it is because of these two things that I am now much less stressed and able to finally feel a little something that has been missing for some time - and Jill hit what that was right on the head .. peaceful. No worrying about what I have to do when I'm sitting down not doing anything for a few moments .. it is a nice feeling and one I think I am going to enjoy feeling a bit more often from now on.
I hope everyone can find a way to find some "peace" in their lives and be able to sit back and enjoy it for a few moments for we all know how quickly those moments are here and then gone.
hugs,
Molly
1月24日 *sigh*Have you ever felt like a square peg in a round hole? That's how I've been feeling lately. The town I live in is very small. Most of the people have lived here all their lives or know one another because of children the same age who have gone through the school together. We moved here 2.5 years ago. Most of the families have been going to school functions together since kindergarten. We've only been doing it for the past couple of years. I am not a great conversationalist when it comes to small talk. I guess, truth be told, I hate small talk. I don't know what to say when it comes to making small talk. Most of the time these moms are talking about their older sons/daughters who have gone to school with the other sons/daughters ... or talking about what private high school they are trying to send their son/daughter to. We moved to this town so we can have our sons go to a very good high school and be able to save up for college instead of spending it on a private high school. Personally I think that if the majority of the kids in the past who have attended the high school have gone on to good colleges, received honors, college credits, and scolarships then it should be a good enough school to spring board my sons into a good college. I think the emphasis should be on studying hard in High school and finding the path you want to take in college. That is not a favoured view with many of the moms in this town. *sigh* square peg/round hole.
I'm not good at making friends. I don't know why that is. No, that's a lie. I am this way because I dont' want to get really close to someone and have them leave and feel that hurt of being alone ... yes, I know I should get over this. but that is who I've been since I was 16 yrs old. It's not an easy thing to make 30 years of behavior change. I'm also a home body. I love being home with my kids. I'm not into going out to bars or to the casinos. If I had a choice I would pick staying home and playing Wii or a board game with the boys. I would prefer to work on home made cards with my youngest or play basketball in the driveway with my oldest. Most of the time I am quite happy and content to do this .. but then when I'm sitting on the stands watching the boys play one of the many sports they participate in and the other moms are sitting in a little group laughing and joking and chatting .. well I kinda feel left out and yearn to be a part of the group .. sharing secrets .. laughing and cheering "our" kids on. They are not rude. I will get a remark sent my way if my son does something good ... and they may comment on the antics of my youngest son who is usually with me watching .. but it's not the same as being a part of the "group". *sigh* square peg, round hole.
I know this is just a temporary "whoa is me" feeling that will pass in time. It just seems that there are times like this that I wish that I was better at making friends. I think I've said this before but I never know how much of "being a friend" is good .. when do you call to chat .. when do you back off ... when do you invite them over to the house.. how often do you stop by their house ... things I am not good at. And at times they are things I'm not even sure I want to be good at .. but at times .. like tonight when they were sitting there going over whose child pased the entrance exam for the local private high school, whose kids were going home from college for spring break, whose kids were doing what this summer .. and just hearing them whispering and laughing... well. then I really feel like that square peg ...
so.. that's my little sob story for this eveing .. I guess one of the reasons I started this blog was to be able to share things like this .. cause I know there are others out there who also feel this way ... and in that then we are not alone but together .. .. square pegS in round holes .. together.
hugs,
Molly
ps... Yellow, oh Yellow - wherefore art thou Yellow? 11月28日 Small town - smaller peopleI am soOOOOOOoooo frustrated. Why? you politely inquire. Well, let me share ..
1) My son is in the 8th grade. He is a fairly decent basketball player. He is unique in that he is right handed when he writes but when he plays sports he is left handed .. he plays tennis, he plays golf, he plays basketball all left handed. It doesn't interfer with his game - he is fairly decent, not great, but decent at most of the sports.
2) We live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone. Some get along, some don't. Those who don't - tolerate.
3) We have one person in particular who feels he runs the sports here. His son is decent but not terrific... kinda the same as my son except my son has more personality (but I am biased here). The father coaches soccer, baseball, and basketball. He plays to win. He makes sure his favorites get on his team. He plays mainly his favorites. Those who aren't as good but who are on his team do not usually get any creative encouragement or help - they get critisized for not being as good as his favorites. He once told a young (5th grade) player that he couldn't play any where but the out field because he su*ked. ... in front of the rest of the team.
4) This person managed to talk and scheme his way into being the middle school basketball coach. He managed to do this even though several letters from concerned parents in the town were written expressing their concerns about this person getting a coaching position within the school and the way he treated the kids he coached. Two other possible options for coaches were given to the superintendent. He chose to ignore the concerns and hired this guy as the basketball coach. Special exceptions were made to get him in without really notifying the town until it was already done. The superintendent said he would make sure that a committee was formed to pick the team due to the concerns of the parents. The team consisted of a board of ed member, past coach, and the present athletic director. Try-outs were held for 2 days.
5) 6, 7, 8th graders tried out for the school basketball team that would consist of 17 students. Out of that 9 were in the 8th grade - my son included. This coach has always had a problem with Ryan. They clash. This coach prefers a student who sits there and listens and does everything the coach says without questioning if it is right or wrong or if there is a better way to do it. Ryan questions. This annoys the coach. This coach is never questioned by anyone else in the town. Most of the town is scared of him. He is a mean and spiteful person - and if he doesn't like you he takes it out on your child - which is why there are people in town who either hang with him to get their kids "in" or who stay out of his way and don't rock the boat. Ryan's parent's are in neither group. *sigh* This annoys the coach even more.
6) The list of who made the team was posted today. Out of the 9 eighth graders - 7 made the team. The 8th person who is a sweet kid but doesn't really have the skills was offered the "team manager" position by the coach. The 9th person who didn't make it and the ONLY 8th grader "cut" from the team is my son. (wow - now who saw THAT coming?!).
7) I called this coach and calmly and maturely asked why my son was the ONLY 8th grader not to make it. I was told that it was a "tough" decision but one that had to be made. He agonized over it. When I asked for specific reasons I was told that there were two times my son fooled around while waiting his turn. I asked if that meant he was cut for petty reasons and not for his skill. I was then told that my son didn't have the fundimentals down - that he used his left side for shooting and throwing and should be using his right. It didn't matter that he made all the baskets he shot during one lay up and he is tall enough to be a great defender and rebounder. I kept asking questions - he kept hmming and hawwing and trying to come up with answers. At one point he actually came out and said "well if you don't like the way I coach why don't you coach and do it your way?". To which I relpied that although that was a very immature comment I am sure he realizes that he has the coaching skills not me and that I feel my son would benefit from his coaching if he would just put aside his feelings and give my son a fair chance. - silence- Well - he says - everyone who made it in 8th grade was on the team in 7th grade. I added - yep, AND on the travel team and my son is now on the travel team BUT couldn't be on the team last year because we were out of town during the try-outs and no exceptions were made to allow anyone who missed them to try out at a later date. (should I mention that one of the 8th graders who made the team this year didn't even try out because he was injured/ill and when I brought that up I was told that it was the general concensus that this kid would have made the team any way). double *sigh*
8) My son, to his credit, is taking this very maturely and although he was quite upset when he first found out he has realized that it is best because even if he was on the team he would probably get no playing time and no matter what he did during practice it would be wrong and he would be made an example of.
9) I HATE THIS GUY - THIS "COACH" - NOT BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS BECAUSE YOU CAN ONLY REALLY FEEL SORRY FOR HIM FOR THAT BUT FOR WHAT HE DOES TO THESE KIDS THAT DON'T FIT INTO HIS WORLD OR "HIS TOWN".
*sigh*
I did write the superintendent and express my concerns that this coach found out I was one of the people who wrote and complained about him and that it would have been more professional to let this "coach" know there were complaints but share who had the concerns -after- the try-outs so as not to jeopardize anyone's chances of being on the team - as it seems to have done for my son. I also told him that I was sure if it was anyone else being cut and it was the only 8th grader to be cut I was SURE that this "coach" or one of the committee members would have found some way to get him on the team as it was his last year at that school before going to the high school but that because it was Ryan this "coach" wasn't about to make any waves at all to get him on the team - on the contrary - he made sure, by offering the other 8th grade who was cut the team manager position - that Ryan was the ONLY 8th grader and only Travel Team member who WAS CUT! (hate this guy)
We moved to a small town because we thought it would be the best thing for our kids - smaller classes and better teachers and the chance to be a part of a team ... We mistakenly thought that a small town meant everyone worked together for the benefit of the children - but I guess this is the only place this "coach" would be able to be who he thinks he is .. in a small town because a larger town would not put up with his bs.
ok.. I had to get this off my chest .. I'm so upset and feel so bad for Ryan. He is a great kid and I'm not just saying that becuase he is my kid. He is a friend to everyone. He hangs out with kids who are popular and kids who aren't. He doesn't put anyone down and doesn't bully or on-up anyone. He doesn' steal or lie or torture his brother .. he is a typical teenager in many ways and attitudes .. he loves basketball and deserved the chance to play on the school team.
*sigh* as much as I know in my heart life isn't always fair - I just feel it should be for our kids ... they shouldn't have to deal with this type of stuff until they are adults... they should be able to be kids and not have to deal with adults with agendas and big heads and little hearts until they are much, much older.
well, thanks for listening .. this seemed like the only thing I could do to feel a bit better .... ~hugs, Molly~ 8月20日 my new "baby"So .. our vacation is over *sigh* and school starts in a week and a half for the boys. We had a blast in/around Boston .. lots of shopping (oh boy!), everyone enjoyed exploring Boston, and our last day was at the in-door waterpark at the Sheraton (Danvers, MA) and even the hubby got into the spirit and joined in the water slide races with the boys. We even took pictures of him smiling as he raced down one of the slides. We're going to use it for blackmail later! LOL .. it was nice to see everyone laughing and having fun.
We didnt' tell the boys about the waterpark until we got there. It was really fun watching the looks on their faces when they walked in and saw what we would be doing on our last day. The little guy (8 yrs) went on all the slides - even the big ones. I can remember when I took the boys with my best friend and his kids to a water park and the little guy only wanted to go on the smaller slides and even that took a lot of encouragement. This time he went on the medium slides first - had a blast - and asked to go on the bigger rides.. So we took turns taking him and he just couldn't get enough. He even went on the dark/covered ones .. though I have to admit I stayed on the ones that I could see where I was going! ok, ok .. he looked up at me twice with those big puppy dog eyes and I ended up going on the dark tube ride with him both times.. sheez .. I'm such a softie! LOL.
The older one "hung" with us a couple times and raced with us a few time but then he would go off and make friends dumping water on the racing tube or playing water basketball with whomever he met there. He is so easy going and makes friends every where he goes.
It was a really nice long weekend - and what made it even better is that ... we bought me a new car before we left!! Here is a picture of my new "baby" .. The Toyota Prius
Oh well - back to the real world... gotta get that laundry folded for tomorrow (back to camp & work), work out a shopping list, tidy up a little, and all that other fun stuff... I hope everyone is doing well. I promise I will be stopping by to return visits and see how everyone is doing on their blogs.
hugs, Molly 8月15日 just a couple quick things ...My oh my oh my - where does the time go? Life is busy as ever so I'm going to just share a couple quick things before I head back to cleaning & paper work.
I can't believe that the summer is almost over. We have 1.5 more weeks before the boys return to school! They are both ready - kinda bored with being home .. need a little more routine to their day I think. And more friends to chat with and hang out with - after all isn't that what school is all about?
 Any way .. we are off on vacation again. Washington DC was great! Everyone had a really nice time - we didn't get to see everything that we wanted to but because everything went so well we will be heading back there in October to do more site seeing with friends & their kids. Now we are off to Boston for another long weekend - okay - let me rephrase that .. we are first off to Kittery maine to do some shopping for the day. Believe it or not my husband LOVES to shop, and my two boys take after him. They asked if we could spend 1 day shopping - my husband's eyes lit up and mine glazed over (I'm not a huge shopper .. ugh!). Then we'll be heading to Boston for some fun.
Some thoughts and prayers are being asked to be sent to my friend, Todd, who lost his best friend to a heart attack suddenly. mike wieringo, who was well known in the Comic Book world, died a couple days ago - very unexpectedly.. he was only 44 yrs old. He was Todd's best friend. They created TELLOS together and collaberated on numerous comic books. Please keep Todd and Mike's family in your prayers as they are all feeling such a great loss right now.
My work is going really well. I am still with the same birth-to-three company but they transfered me to a different office and I'm really enjoying it. It's a smaller office with people I seem to share more interestes with (besides the kids we help) .. several are my age and married/divorced with kids of all ages - so it's nice to be able to relate without having to talk weddings and pregnancys all the time (old office was very "young").. I am still loving what I'm doing ...
I am, fingers crossed, going to be getting a new car! I love my Saturn VUE but I'm close to 98,000 miles and it's only 3 years old (tsk tsk - job hazard) - so if we don't trade it in soon it will be worth nothing. We are going tomorrow to see if we can come to an agreement with the local Toyota dealership to purchase a Toyota Prius hybred. 51 miles highway/61 miles city! and really cute looking and comfortable. It's electric and gas ... and I am very, very excited... the hubby said we could even splurge for the Package 3 model (lots of nice extras!!).
 hmm, what else, what else ... boys are doing great. My 8 yr old has learned how to swim and is very proud of himself. My 13 yr old thinks he is 18 .. *sigh* but is still a real sweet heart when the hormones aren't kicking in. We've had 1 "I hate you" so far this summer but he calms down and trys to make up later for it. I know he doesn't mean it - I was not always a nice teenager myself. My nanna always said she wished for me to have kids just like I was as a child. (thanks Nan!!) LOL
 I miss chatting with everyone. I will do my best to stop by and drop everyone notes again. Unfortunetly I have some how damaged my left ulnar nerve - causing my left pinky and 1/2 of the other finger next to it and the outer side of my left palm to go numb. It's been 2 months now and it has to be bandaged at night and while I'm in the car to try and get the nerve to heal .. but so far .. not too much has changed. So .. long story short. It takes me almost twice as long to type because I can't feel what those two fingers are doing and then I have to go back and hit the keys harder or take away mistakes due to hitting the wrong keys. it's such a wierd feeling .. but no fear, it won't keep me away!!
 ok. better get going .. I hope this note finds everyone doing well. Please (wow, try typing that word with no feeling in your outer most left hand fingers!! LOL) keep in touch and drop me a note or email. I would love to hear from you - and thank those who have left comments for me. It is so great to come on and see them.
hugs & love,
Molly
7月2日 Vacation !!!Wahoooo!!! I am officially on ...
VACATION!!!!
I can't begin to tell you how much I've been looking forward to this week. At first I thought it was going to be 9 days of relaxing, going to the pool, playing some tennis with the boys .. and getting the house cleaned after a very, VERY, busy baseball season (between the 2 boys there was a game at least 4/5 days weekly!)... but we all know what happens when we look forward to not doing anything ... so.. let's see .. it seems to have become a little more planned then I had hoped but that's going to be okay I think ....
Saturday- sister-in-law comes over for the whole afternoon/early evening. Nothing much gets done but it was nice to relax and chat and play with the boys ... no time for pool or tennis though *sigh*
Sunday - getting caught up on paperwork for work & hubbys business so I don't have to worry about it the remainder of the week - a little tennis at night.
Monday - bright and early - 1st appointment - oral surgeon to get some repair work done on tooth/root canal/jaw - BUT .. since I'm suppose to take it easy I spent the afternoon at the pool with my youngest son and a friend of his. Then since I'm suppose to drink plenty of milk/yogurt stuff for the calcium intake to help the healing - ICE CREAM!!! (that does count, doesn't it? LOL)
Tuesday - older son has tennis lessons at 10:00am then younger one has swimming lesson (he swam 5 feet under water yesterday!!! I dont' know who was prouder - him or me. you should have just seen his face when he realize what he had accomplished!! *sigh*) - and since I'm already at the pool - well might as well stay for a picnic lunch and then join them for swimming afterwards.
Wednesday -4th of July - hubby's sisters and dad are coming by for picnic. hmmm .. looking back I didn't notice the "cleaning" part of my vacation being scheduled yet. oh well. LOL. I'll pray for nice weather so we can eat & stay outside! Hubby has done some really nice gardens around the house.
Thursday - tennis & swim lessons - maybe golfing in the pm for something different .. or bowling .. we'll see
Friday - taking a trip to upstate NY to see Howe Caverns and do some other fun type stuff .. stay over night some where that has a pool ..
Saturday - explore .. relax ... swim ... then head back home.
Sunday - *sigh* a little crying will be done due to it being the end of my vacation. Probably get a little cleaning in.. it has to be done. *rolls eyes* Get organized for the week ahead .. and then back to the real world. *big sigh*
so there you have it - my vacation. Looks like we'll get a little bit of everything in. I'm sure there will be more ice cream! more swimming! more relaxing! mixed in throughout the week. It is just nice being able to watch how they are both doing with their lessons and having some spontaneous fun with them..
So, what do ya'all have planned for the summer? Anything exciting? Any travels? Come on .. share a little... inquiring minds want to know ...
6月12日 are you 1 .. are you 2 .. are you 3 ....I know I had said I was going to "return" on Monday but I had a very good reason why I didn't blog .. You see .. it was my ...
!Birthday!
I don't know why but I still really look forward to my birthday. It's not really celebrated any more - not like when we were kids *sigh*. I did get together with my sister, brother & mom .. and my hubby and the boys gave me the gifts I had asked for(ok ... you know you are getting old when your birthday wish is for a pink tool box so that you can have your own tools!! oh - and let's not forget the pink power screw driver! lol)..
I think it's a shame we don't make such a big deal out of our birthdays like we use to have made of them when we were kids. I'm excited that I'm now 45! I've done a lot of really cool things. I've made mistakes. I have a few regrets. I have two wonderful boys who bring me so much joy. I love my job and make a difference in this world by doing it.
I know some people don't want to be reminded that they are getting older but I don't mind it too much. I figure that I had very little control over my life for the first 18 years .. so I've been able to make my own choices and live my life for the past 27 years. Heck - think about it .. that's really not a lot of time so I still have a long way to go with lots more adventures and life to live!!! I don't look at the years I am alive - I look at what I've done and what I still want to do. There are more times then not that I have to stop and think and do some quick mathmatics when someone asks me how old I am.. it just really isn't important to me.
So .. at any rate .. here I am bloging again .. another year older .. another year some what wiser.. So tell me, how is everyone? I've missed you all and would love to hear from you .. how do you celebrate your birthday?
hugs - Molly
PS A really great show - that may take 2 or 3 episodes to get into but after that 2nd or 3rd episode - be forwarned!! you will be hooked and it is a show that will make you laugh, cry, and keep you at the edge of your seat .. Well it has been given a 2nd chance and reruns are going to start on Friday, July 6th at 9:00pm on CBS. I would like to ask if anyone who is able to, would watch it .. give it a chance .. come back and chat with me about it ... it really is a good show with some wonderful acting. I never thought I would want to watch it until the day I couldn't find my television remote and ended up watching the 3rd episode .. I thin when back and watched the 1st and 2nd and have been faithfully returning every week to see what happens next .. I hope those that will give it a chance will come back and say "wow, you were right! It's great .. what do you think about .... " and don't worry about forgetting when it's on .. I'll be reminding everyone .. *smile*
12月4日 I'm back .....We made it! 12 days in an RV traveling down & up the East Coast. And we all survived it!!
It was our first time traveling in an RV so I will add more about that later but I just wanted to say "hi!" and let those who have left comments and emailed know that I am back and I will be adding more often..
I promise.
for now, though, Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's back to work I go .. just keep on singing all day long .. Hi Ho.. Hi Ho |
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